Perfect
by SimplyComplex
Summary: Alone one night, on the run from the ministry, A certain song brings back memories of Sirius' childhood, especially his father. Songfic of Perfect, by Simple Plan.


A/N: This is my first songfic, and the first story that is actually mine. Sorry if it sucks. The song is Perfect, by Simple Plan.  
  
Disclaimer: I do not own The song Perfect, or Sirius Black (wish I did!) _________________________________________________________-  
  
Sirius Black was sitting alone one night, in a cave, listening to a muggle radio he had gotten a hold of. His thoughts began to wander, until one song in particular caught his attention.  
  
Hey Dad, look at me  
Think back and talk to me  
Did I grow up according to plan?  
  
Sirius' thoughts wandered to his own father, the plans he had had for Sirius, and how he had disappointed him. His father had hated him for all most as long as he remembered.  
  
Do you think I'm wasting my time  
Doing things I wanna do  
'cuz it hurts when you disapproved  
All along  
  
His father never approved of anything he did. He hated when Sirius was sorted into Gryffindor. He hated Sirius' friends, especially the non- purebloods, and the so-called "Blood Traitors" like the potters and the Lupins. He hated Sirius' pass times, like working on his Motorcycle. He wanted Sirius to be another pure-blood freak, be in Slytherin, have pure- blood friends, become a death-eater, marry another Pure-blood he was more than likely related to, and kill people for a hobby, to put it simply.  
  
And now I try hard to make it  
I just want to make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
  
As a little kid, Sirius had always wanted his father to be proud of him, just like every other little boy. But, his father had always liked Regulus (?) better. He felt he was never good enough at anything.  
  
And you can't change me  
  
A few weeks into Hogwarts, he realized family wasn't everything if they don't love you. He decided he wouldn't care what his father thought, and would do what he loved to do.  
  
'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
  
Sirius could actually remember a time when his father could stand being in the same room as him. He wished with all his little heart that he could be perfect, at least before he connected his father and the Death- Eaters.  
  
I try not to think  
About the pain I feel inside  
Did you know you used to be my hero?  
All the days you spent with me  
Now seem so far away  
And it feels like you don't care anymore  
  
Sirius' father was his hero once. He didn't know it, cuz he was to busy with 'perfect' Regulus (?). It hurts to have your hero, who you spent lots of time with, not even acknowledge your presence. At one point, Sirius' father loved him, and spent time with him. He could barely remember those days now.  
And now I try hard to make it  
I just wanna make you proud  
I'm never gonna be good enough for you  
I can't stand another fight  
And nothing's all right  
  
As Sirius got older, he and his father constantly fought. Finally it was just too much. His Father went out for some booze, Came back, Beat Sirius to a pulp, then left forever. After that, during Easter break of Sirius' third year, Sirius never went home again. He crashed at the Potters, and sometimes the Lupins, instead of that hellhole his mother called home.  
  
'Cuz we lost it all  
Nothing lasts forever  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
Now it's just too late  
And we can't go back  
I'm sorry  
I can't be perfect  
  
More and more memories washed over Sirius, Bringing mixed emotions. Strongest was the hate he had for his so-called family. Why couldn't he have had a normal family? What was Normal anyway?  
  
Nothings gonna change  
The things that you said  
  
Nothings gonna make this  
Right again  
Please don't turn your back  
I can't believe it's hard  
Just to talk to you  
'Cuz you don't understand  
  
*FlashBack* It was a cold, stormy night. Sirius and his Father had been fighting, and then his father went out for a drink. Thunder crashed as the door banged open. Lightening flashed, illuminating the figure of Sirius' Father in the doorway, just as another clap of thunder sounded. He made a beeline for the then thirteen-year-old. He beat him mercilessly, with anything he could get a hold of, Chains, his belt, his fists, even a frying pan, all the time insulting the young child. "You little sissy, get up and fight me like the man you'll never be!" he slurred, " You worthless little brat! We never wanted you anyway! You were just a mistake! Your mother should have had an abortion! Worthless piece of shit!" The Next morning, Sirius woke up to a quiet house. His Father was gone, his Mother and siblings shopping, as if nothing had happened. He grabbed some Floo powder, to make a Fire-call to James. When James saw him, he and his mother came at once, packed his things, and Flooed back to their house with him. Sirius never returned to that house. *end Flashback*  
The song Finished out by repeating the chorus twice, and Sirius felt a little better having vented his anger upon the nearby scenery.  
The End _________________________________________________________-  
  
A/N: Hoped you liked it, please review, even if it is to tell me this is a worthless piece of shit you wouldn't even force upon your worst enemy. I don't think it is. 


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